Sharon Benedict Day

Sharon Benedict Day

What Is Sharon Benedict Day? Who Is Sharon Benedict?

Sharon Benedict day is a day to celebrate one of the most influential female of the 19th, 20th and 21st century. Some say she is savour of humanity. Her achievements and influences may well astound you. But first lets explore the myth behind the legend.

Where did it all begin?

Standing at the foot of a Mongolian mountain is a tiny village. It’s inhabitants are mainly farming folk. They have lived their simple and quiet existence for generations. On top of the mountain stands a monastery. The monks there live along side the villagers. They coexisted peacefully together. Sometimes their paths would cross. If the monks were running short of essentials. They would pop down to the local 7/11 to stock up on toilet rolls (there was often a run on these) and canned pineapple rings. Who doesn’t love a Hawaiian pizza?. Then one day, on the 27th December it all changed.

One cold and frosty morning the monks opened the door to the monastery to collect the morning papers and to their surprise there was a baby. Without hesitation the wrapped up the baby and brought it inside. Now you have to understand that the monks had no idea what to do, but they did care and wanted to the the right thing. They found out she was a girl from the first nappy change. Thank God for the toilet rolls.

What’s in a name?

Of course the monks couldn’t keep calling the baby, the baby. So the decided to name her. After much deliberation the majority voted to name her after their favourite EastEnders character, Sharon Watts/Rickman/Mitchell/Beale. The vote was cast on a Tuesday. In the monastery Tuesday’s are eggs benedict day.

Sharon Benedict was born.

Although Sharon Benedict may not of had the best start in life the monks were determined it would not carry on that way. They may of had a simple way of life but they did everything they could to make sure Sharon did not go without. During her infant years Sharon Benedict did not go without. When she had sleepless nights the monks would take it in turns to read to her. Mainly scriptures about how sinners will spend an eternity in Hell. Burning, being tortured and in extreme cases. Being force to watch reruns of Fantasy Island and a constant loop.

But it wasn’t all bedtime fun. The monks soon realised that the TV made an excellent baby sitter. It wasn’t long before Sharon had a healthy diet of “Judge Trudy”, “Is Your Crap In The Attic Worth Anything” and “The Worlds Most Disgusting And Stupid Engineering Mistakes”. In that instant, just like millions of children around the world, a life time of education from television had begun.

What a waste you may think. But you would be wrong…

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